First Impressions of 2017

Busy year. I haven’t had the time to update the old blog. Here are some quick thoughts of few of my first impressions since January.

Wolfenstein: New Order

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A groovy little shooter that could. First impressions ok. Got fairly boring in a couple of hours but maybe there’s more to see.

Wolfenstein: New Order stream

Okhlos

Weird beat-em-up that didn’t really start make any sense during my time with it. It’s a mess, but it’s got character. So, I like it, even though I didn’t enjoy it.

Okhlos stream

Husk

Beat your head against a brick wall horror game. Nothing to say about it, except skip it.

Husk stream

Project Highrise

A sim game with fairly little personality. Didn’t motivate me to try it further.

Project Highrise stream

Hollow Knight

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I had no idea what this was when I tried it. Turns out it became the indie darling metroidvania of the year for many. I didn’t like the Macromedia Flash(tm) graphics and the controls were a bit stiff (not that Symphony of the Night’s weren’t). I’ve never been the biggest fan of underground stuff, but I suppose it was alright. I respect it.

Hollow Knight stream

Oh, Deer!

This is going to be merely a two word review: Boring garbage.

Oh, Deer! stream

ABZÛ

I’ve heard many describe ABZÛ as beautiful. It was alright. It’s got style, but you can really see the seams. The gameplay? It’s sort of a walking simulator as far as I could tell. Relaxing, perhaps. Didn’t make me want to play any more of it.

ABZÛ stream

Ryse: Son of Rome

Ryse is some sort of mash-all-buttons simulator. It’s really pretty, but I didn’t care about anything happening on the screen.

Ryse: Son of Rome stream

SteamWorld Heist

Turn-based action tactics game. I could see spending some more time with this if it was my kind of game. I don’t like turn-based stuff and the cartoony robots weren’t that relatable to me. It seems very well-made.

SteamWorld Heist stream

System Shock

This game is old. And it shows its age. A lot of interesting ideas and a time capsule from an age gone by. Anything worth stealing? Perhaps the atmosphere.

System Shock stream

Dusty Revenge

These comic artists wanted to make a beat-em-up hame. Too bad they didn’t know how. It’s an unplayable mess of cliches and bad controls. Avoid.

Dusty Revenge stream

The Witness

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Every game developer’s hero Jonathan Blow made a beautiful puzzle game. The art style reminds me of ABZÛ, but it’s more carefully put together. I’m bad at puzzles so the game was just putting me to sleep, but it’s a solid piece of work.

The Witness stream

Chroma Squad

Turn-based visual novel of sorts. The pixel art is great, but I didn’t enjoy the gameplay, what little of it I got to see. It was very by-the-numbers stuff. Seems to lean heavily on the style.

Chroma Squad stream

GRAV

I had completely forgotten what this was and the forgettable name didn’t give me any clues. It’s some sort of multiplayer game where you gather rocks and craft things with them. Honestly, couldn’t wait to hit the Quit button.

GRAV stream

JumpJet Rex

Puzzle Platformer that wants to encourage speedrunning but doesn’t know how. It forces you to wait around for obstacles, has bad controls, and on top of that seems to be really buggy. It’s not nice to look at, either. Better luck next time.

JumpJet Rex stream

Ballistick

Oh no. It’s some sort of wannabe Rainbow Six with a stick man. Everything is poorly done, but maybe it has a lot of content. I don’t know. I ran out of patience before I could find out.

Ballistick stream

Potatoman Seeks The Troof

It’s the T-Rex Chrome Offline Game. With a Potatoman theme. I don’t know why anyone would like to play this. It’s horrible.

Potatoman Seeks The Troof stream

Luna’s Wandering Stars

lunas wandering stars banner

Physics puzzle game that gets tedious really fast. I think I could last 8 minutes before I had seen everything it had to offer. This might work on mobile if you have nothing better to do.

Luna’s Wandering Stars stream

Monster Loves You

A cute monster adventure for kids with imaginative characters and settings. I like the way it presents itself but just have no interest in investing any time in it.

Monster Loves You stream

Pillars of Eternity

You know what I hate about role-playing games on PC? They expect you to be interested in them. There’s no hook. The first ten hours are always a boring exposition dump that you have to grind through. Give me a reason to be interested in your game! So, that’s Pillars of Eternity. Played it for an hour and saw no reason to go any further. It was just boring.

Pillars of Eternity stream

Lakeview Cabin Collection

If you like those old point-n-click games that make no sense… because they make no sense… look no further. Lakeview Cabin Collection makes no sense or any effort in trying to tell you anything. Bumble around and maybe stumble to a solution by accident. Fun, eh?

Lakeview Cabin Collection stream

Resident Evil 5

This game must be a joke. The mechanics are awful, the action is awful, the inventory management is ridiculous, and the dialogue is like from a pen of some grade school student. This is popular? Am I on the wrong planet?

Resident Evil 5 stream

Chivalry

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Mechanically very interesting multiplayer brawler. It’s basically a resource management game with timing puzzles. I don’t like games like this, but the way it’s executed is inspiring.

Chivalry stream

Space Run Galaxy

They forgot that in order to get players to grind, they must give a shit about your game.

Space Run Galaxy stream

Kingdom: New Lands

Assumably there’s new stuff here compared to Kingdom, but I couldn’t find any. It’s still a solid game except for the fact that you might lose a three-hour game because the game just decided so. It likes to be very mysterious and do cheap shit. I respect that, but I also don’t have the time for that. Three hours must give me at least some sort of progress. Not just “do it again lol”.

Kingdom: New Lands stream

Armello

A super interesting digital board game. It’s just very very slow. It’s almost pointlessly just wasting your time. I felt like the hour I spent in the game was at least 50% just waiting. But it’s pretty, it’s got character, and it’s got cool ideas.

Armello stream

Ashes of the Singularity: Escalation

A really ugly and slow realtime strategy game. It was putting me to sleep. Everything seemed to move like on 0.25x speed. Why are game developers so determined to waste gamers’ time? Also, the GUI is messy. I don’t know. I just hated doing anything in the game.

Ashes of the Singularity: Escalation stream

Eterium

Had to dig my joystick out of the naphthtalene for this one. And it’s the most repetitive game I’ve played in a good while. You fly, you shoot, you fly, you shoot. It just never gets any more interesting. You do one thing and once you’ve seen it, you’ve seen the game.

Eterium stream

Brigador

A super cool mech/tank shooter that looks like the old Fallout games. The shooting feels excellent and there’s a metric ton of content in the game. The mechanics are deep and the action good. This would’ve been ace 20 years ago.

Brigador stream

Rivals of Aether

A Smash Bros clone that seems to be very well put together. I’m just not interested in games like this. They require too much time to even figure out the basic gameplay. Probably a solid multiplayer.

Rivals of Aether stream

GTA V

I finished GTA V two weeks ago and I must say… it’s probably the best game I’ve ever played. The driving feels like Need For Speed, the shooting feels like Max Payne, the cutscenes are funny and intriguing, the radio is excellent, the world is breath-taking, the atmosphere is superb. I honestly can’t think of anything bad to say about it.

Need For Speed: Rivals

Feels like the Criterion NFS games. I’ll probably be playing more of this.

Stardew Valley

Stardew Valley is a chill farming game with a town full of interesting characters and activities. It feels a bit like Minecraft but with more of a focus on the farming aspects. Very nice game.

Seasons After Fall

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This game likes to waste your time. It’s like the people making it didn’t really know what they wanted to do and so it’s not really anything. You just run around and occasionally something happens. Not much of a game, sadly.

Worms W.M.D

I like Worms. The original Worms was the second game I ever got on our family PC. But holy damn they enjoy wasting your time (why do I feel like this is the fourth time I’ve written this on this post) at Team 17. Wait for the logos, wait for the splash screens, wait for the map to generate, wait for the round to start, wait for the player to end their turn, wait for the weapon crate to drop, wait for another turn to start… it’s endless. Out of 60 minutes you probably end up playing 30 minutes. Ridiculous. It’s like they wait 5 seconds after each action just ot emphasize that yes, that really just happened. Thanks game. You’re keeping it real.

Overcooked

Fun local co-op idea with terrible controls. I’d probably be pretty good at this if not for the fact that I can’t pick up anything or put anything down anywhere. The characters just randomly do whatever they feel like. With a friend, it’s neat to try to run a professional kitchen where you have to do everything from chopping to bussing. Another pass on the mechanics and this would be excellent.

Wuppo

A weird platformer with weird mechanics. Incredibly cute! I like it.

Undertale

I sort of understand why people might like this game and it probably gets more intense later on. The characters are great. The gameplay, however, is a bit tedious. Maybe it makes sense at the end, but I have a short attention span. Get going or go away.

Metal Slug

I found out that I owned this SNK classic so me and my pal decided to give it a go. It looks great, but is incredibly boring. This sort of game just doesn’t fly anymore. Hiscores don’t matter. Give me something more rewarding. I’ve got so many games that just getting to the end of the game doesn’t give me any satisfaction. The game itself must be captivating.

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